Dating an orthodox seminarian

28-Oct-2015 11:37

This website is intended as a safe place for Catholics and Former Catholics who are struggling or have struggled with some aspect of the Catholic church.It is not an anti-Catholic website or a “war on Catholicism,” though perhaps some conservative Catholics may view it differently.

It can be said in as few words as a poem I wrote using a set of word magnets on my refrigerator.It was interesting to write this within the confines of the words that were in the little box.This action is an ironic metaphor for falling in love with a priest--I was very limited in one way, and yet there were words to choose from that I wouldn't have otherwise thought to use.It altered my "advice" or perspective slightly from what it may have been had I had more word choices available.The title simply indicates that loving someone who is married to an ideology will ultimately bring nothing but pain.It is a "death drive" in a literal and personal sense for myself, but universally it means the cycle of euphoria, guilt, chastisement, withdrawal from the situation, addiction to it, and back to euphoria.

Each cycle becoming more intense and more destructive.

The woman may hope that the priest is in a discernment period during these cycles—and he may well be.

Many priests have left the priesthood to become husbands and (true) fathers, men of faith and family.

But, it is typically up to the woman to introduce the subject because the priest has too much to lose if he initiates the conversation and the woman rejects him. So, the woman should "ask." Ask what his intentions are.

In this day and age, most priests do not have the theology or confidence to leave and will choose the priesthood over marriage.

The only healthy thing for both, once it’s clear he’s made his decision, is for the woman to "tell" him goodbye "and go." This of course is hard as hell, and nearly impossible for some.