My experiences and research found that I was not alone. Too many lesbians, me included, have heard statements such as: ‘But you’re too pretty to be a lesbian’.It is hard enough coming out as a lesbian in the first place to family and friends.
This was in part due to the media that focussed on stereotypical representations of lesbians.This has somewhat developed in the last decade or so.However, I believe that lesbians who do not meet the stereotypes are still not always shown precisely.They are either going through a ‘phase’, are struggling with their sexuality or are still largely seen as fantasy figures. We do exist as real lesbians and what is more we exist for lesbians! For one I am not one for the scene, especially as I am not seen as a lesbian… For another when I tried to find love online I was faced with tirades of both men and women wanting threesomes i.e. Even lesbians presumed that I was not a lesbian and just going through a ‘phase’. But it was this long difficult process that I faced that inspired me to set up a site for femmes.I love women, but it is fair to say that I don’t love all women!We all have different tastes, gay or straight, and these may even change in our lifetimes.
One taste, I can say for certain about me that has never changed is my attraction to other feminine women.
When I first came out I believed I was the only femme in the village or indeed the world.
This is one of the reasons that I created Pink Lobster Dating: Lipstick Lesbian Catch. It was a difficult experience and one where I felt lost and excluded. I wanted to create a safe place where femme lesbians could at last belong.
It was to be a place where we would no longer need to explain who we are, justify being who we want to be or be with.
Pink Lobster Dating has been set up following over a year’s research and development and a lifetime of devotion!
It is a labour of love and I am delighted to say femmes are already finding each other on the site. I have heard a number of shocking and sad stories about femme lesbians who have been shunned from the gay scene and who have felt misunderstood in general.