Finding a mate functioned a lot more like a bartering system than dinner and a movie.If we’re really serious about “biblical dating”, than a Friday night first-date at Starbucks would probably need to include our entire extended family, some bulky gold jewelry, an expensive dowry, and a couple herds of donkeys, goats, and sheep somewhere in the mix.
So what is our obsession with wanting to know about “Christian Dating”?Even today in cultures of the Middle East, dating is a relatively new concept and couples can’t even be seen together in public unless they are officially “engaged” to be married.I get a little tired when people ask me to address “Christian Dating”, because frankly, it doesn’t really exist.In fact, the modern-day concept of “dating” looked far different 2,000 years ago.The process of meeting a spouse had very little to do with compatibility and personality traits, and everything to do with family lineage and economic status.Type the word “dating” into your bible search tool and what comes up? When I was single, I remember wishing there was an entire book of the bible dedicated to the topic, or at least even a chapter.
But though Scriptures are filled with foundational life-changing truths, there are still some topics that are left untouched when it comes to finding a biblical perspective.
In fact, I have to chuckle to myself whenever someone asks me to give a “biblical” perspective on dating.
Not only is there nothing said about the topic, but the concept of dating didn’t even exist in biblical times.
I don’t often hear Christians saying they want their doctor to practice “Christian Medicine”, hiring “Christian Plumbers” to fix their toilets, nor taking “Christian Mathematics” as part of their coursework.
I think part of our obsession, though, might be rooted in FEAR: Fear of doing things wrong. Because relationships are such a valuable part of who we are, what I hear when someone asks me to talk about “Christian Dating” is a voice who is unsure, longing for answers, and in need of direction.
Afraid of making mistakes, we long for cookie-cutter formulas that tell us to date this person, or that person – or better yet, to kiss dating goodbye all together.